Browsing the archives for the game tag.

She sells sea shells

Written on June 27, 2009 by

I received an email this past week that asked me to “…expedite this as expeditiously as possible…” and of course I had to respond and one-up my coworker. Thus, I replied, “As your expeditor, I expeditiously expedited this egregious error.”

It was a little sloppy in many ways, but it occurred to me: truly, alliterative verse is the highest form of language mankind has ever known.

You all should try it too! Instead of finishing a meal and saying, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done.” Try saying, “Stick a spork in my side, I’m satisfied!” (There’s a bonus off-rhyme in that too!)

Then we can all use alliteration liberally in all situations. Perhaps in some of the following situations?

When postulating a pertinent point:
“Peter may be perturbed that we’ve pumped piranha into his pool.”

To chastise a child:
“Randy Ringl, raise your rear from the recliner and write your report!”

A larcenist has lifted your lunch?
“Return my Reuben!”

The constant of kibitzing of a comrade:
“Stupid Shaw still hasn’t updated! Surely he must suffer from some serious sickness!”
“Seriously Shaw, stop screwing around!”

All in all, I’m wishing I was back in high school for a week so that I could actually do something cool with those stupid 500 word papers I had to write all the time,


1 Comment

Game Over

Written on December 13, 2008 by

Well it’s over. I’m out of the Christmas Shoes game.

It wasn’t pretty, I’ll say that much. Here’s how it broke down.

Cassie and I had dinner at her parent’s house to celebrate her college graduation. After a great dinner (hamburgers, booyah!) we all sat down to watch a movie. Cassie got to choose, and she’s been watching Christmas movies non-stop since Thanksgiving. She chose The Christmas Blessing (I strongly suspect because of Neil Patrick Harris being in it who she apparently would end our marriage to be with). The first preview on the DVD comes up and is showcasing a pair of red shoes.

I turned to her and said, “If I lose because of this I’m never speaking to you again.” She then paused it in the middle of the ad for some reason while we got dessert. As I was settling in and enjoying a piece of turtle cheesecake she unpauses the DVD and I hear:

Sir, I wanna buy these shoes for my momma please. 
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size. 
Could you hurry, Sir? 
Daddy says there’s not much time. 
You see, she’s been sick for quite a while; 
Know these shoes will make her smile. 
Want her to look beautiful if Momma meets Jesus tonight.

I turned to my wife, tears streaming down my face, my vision distorted and blurry, “Why did you do this to me?”

So if you’re still in the game consider yourself lucky. If your like me… well… at least it’s over.


Shaw replied on December 13, 2008 at 11:46 am

My 22 year streak is still unbroken.

Oh, and it’s nice to see you posting on time now! Keep it up.


1 Comment

Love & Karts

Written on December 4, 2008 by
blog, videogames

A tall friend of mine recently shared a Youtube video with me of a beautiful and eloquent Mario Kart themed love song, which you can find below:

Mario Kart Love Song

When I first saw it, the video had a couple thousand views, but now it’s jumped to nearly 760,000! And for good reason. Not only is the song well written and extremely catchy, but Blinktwice4y has captured something every geeky male has wanted to do since the dawn of obsession: being nerdy AND attracting girls at the same time.

The geek inside every guy dreams of meeting the perfect girl who enjoys the same things and is more than happy with a simple evening of Pizza and playing video games, watching the football game, rolling the D20s in Dungeons & Dragons or whatever your object of affection is. In the end, that’s the kind of girl every guy wants to end up with.

Wait… What were we talking about again? Right… video game based music. Why don’t we see more of it? Sure there are video game cover bands, like minibosses, The OneUps and The Advantage, nerdcore rappers like Optimus Rhyme and mc chris, and a few rare video game inspired tunes like Andy McKee’s Samus’ Stardrive.

But I’m talking an industry here! There’s so much potential as video games become a greater part of our lives. Nearly everyone is a “casual” gamer nowadays, so they can at least relate to the concepts. So if you’re a musician, get out there and write some gaming themed music! I’ll do my part, you help pick up the slack.

Speaking of music, Ringl enlightened me to a little game I had no clue I was winning at (no, not the game which I incidentally just lost at)! The object of this game is to simply avoid hearing the song “Christmas Shoes” this holiday season. So far I’ve been one of the fortunate few to have never (consciously) heard this song. I think that makes me a winner by default.

If you haven’t already lost at this game, then please play along at home. I’ve heard of things getting pretty competitive with some anonymous phone calls being sent with the song blaring.

So join in on the fun and recruit your friends to celebrate in this fantastic Christmas game! Let us know in the comments if you’ve already lost and/or how you plan to get other people “out” as well.