Browsing the archives for the blog category.

video dump

Written on June 30, 2009 by
blog, eye catching


I enjoy videos of people scaring one another. This one takes the cake:

I’ve seen some cool things from SCAD and this is among the best:


Most everyone has seen Afro Ninja. But I recently discovered that he has been given a chance at redemption:

It’s better than nothing, right?


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She sells sea shells

Written on June 27, 2009 by

I received an email this past week that asked me to “…expedite this as expeditiously as possible…” and of course I had to respond and one-up my coworker. Thus, I replied, “As your expeditor, I expeditiously expedited this egregious error.”

It was a little sloppy in many ways, but it occurred to me: truly, alliterative verse is the highest form of language mankind has ever known.

You all should try it too! Instead of finishing a meal and saying, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done.” Try saying, “Stick a spork in my side, I’m satisfied!” (There’s a bonus off-rhyme in that too!)

Then we can all use alliteration liberally in all situations. Perhaps in some of the following situations?

When postulating a pertinent point:
“Peter may be perturbed that we’ve pumped piranha into his pool.”

To chastise a child:
“Randy Ringl, raise your rear from the recliner and write your report!”

A larcenist has lifted your lunch?
“Return my Reuben!”

The constant of kibitzing of a comrade:
“Stupid Shaw still hasn’t updated! Surely he must suffer from some serious sickness!”
“Seriously Shaw, stop screwing around!”

All in all, I’m wishing I was back in high school for a week so that I could actually do something cool with those stupid 500 word papers I had to write all the time,


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An ironic blog

Written on June 23, 2009 by
blog, memes

Since the first days of the internet abbreviations have been embraced and encouraged. I’m not sure how it got started, and because I’m refusing to do any real research on this I’m going to relay personal experiences and declare my words as fact.

Early on in the heyday of AOL, I (as a young lad of 10 or 11) would enter a chat room to foster relationships with complete strangers. Now the internet was young at this point and as you met people you would ask a lot of the same questions over and over again. This led to one of the most honored of chatting rituals: “ASL?”

ASL, for the uninitiated, stands for “age, sex, and location?” Nowadays you couldn’t trust that information to be factual in any way shape or form, but in an earlier time you knew that men were men, women were women and 14-year-olds that start conversations with complete strangers and provide way to much information were Chris Hansen. Ahh, it was a simpler time.

At any rate, the internet embraced the acronym. In fact, I remember playing a game known as Acrophobia, a game based around fitting words to random letters, and everyone getting excited when letters came up that internet acronyms already existed for. It became a key piece of the culture of the internet, to know this secret language.

One abreviation that borders on being a meme is “tl;dr”, or “too long; didn’t read”.


Undoubtedly, if you ever browse comments on news sites or blogs you’ve seen this acronym. Perhaps you’ve wondered what it means? Well I can definitively tell you it’s implied meaning is “the internet has made me too dumb/impatient to read something that can’t be compressed down to a 5 second sound byte.” But let’s break it down a bit further.

First, what qualifies as too long? Is it some defined word count? A number of sentences? Paragraphs? Is font size taken into account? I would like to argue that it is determined by a formula that depends on several variables. Let’s assume that the average person reads 250 words per minute (did that count as research?) and the average attention span is 15 minutes. Using this figure we could easily figure out how many words something would have to be before someone would consider it too long.

However, we’re talking about the internet. In the sub-culture that has formed within its incorporeal mass most people have been conditioned to receive instant gratification. Type a URL, see a website. Click a link, look at a funny picture of a cat (see above). Open the video attached to an email, hate Rick Astley just a little more. So with this spirit in mind let’s shorten that attention span to 5 minutes. (Also this brings us to the “didn’t read” portion of tl;dr, anyone who uses a contraction in an acronym while typing is clearly too busy for LIFE).

With all that in mind some simple math leads us to a 1,250 word article being too long, right? Wrong! Clearly we’ve forgotten to add in the variables that will shorten this even further. Here is a list of modifiers to the average word count that we’ve arrived at. For instance, if you are at work you multiply 1,250 by .25 to arrive at an acceptable word count of 312.5. Then take into account that you’re at work and on an hour long lunch break. So you have 1,250 multiplied by .25 plus 100 for a total of 412.5 words.

Working: .25
Actually Working: .1
Actually working and not lying about it: .01
Day off: .5 (you’ve still got better stuff to do!)
You’re a grammar nazi: 5 

(while working) taking a break: 25 words per every 15 minutes the break lasts
Tired: -100 words
Super tired: -500 words
Working on a paper for school: -1000

Sure it’s a lot of variables to deal with, but it’s math! And math doesn’t lie! It just gets slanted.

Feel free to add modifiers in the comments




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My desk

Written on June 20, 2009 by
blog, eye catching

When I got into work yesterday this is what my workspace looked like. It’s littered with post-it notes for things I need to get done soon. There’s a monitor on the right that I use when I’m working on a computer that comes into the office for maintenance. The picture of me with Shaw’s mom in the corner of the aforementioned monitor. My sweet Duke Nukem mousepad. My desk fan. Just take a look:

…wait…. what’s that on the left side of my desk? I didn’t have anything there when I left on Thursday…

Odd… perhaps a coworker left something for me. Let’s zoom in.

Oh! It’s just chief science officer Spock aiming his phaser at a helpless Lieutenant Commander Hikaru Sulu who is trapped in a half filled water bottle with a sign that reads “Help me”

That’s not canon at all…


Mr. Spock has intentions to harm you.

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The Duke (not him, the other one)

Written on June 18, 2009 by
blog, videogames

Just thought you all should know that I own the most awesome mousepad ever.

Our next piece is a couple months old, so some of you may have seen it, but if it ever actually exists I would grab it so that I could not only have the best mouse pad ever, but also the best mouse ever.

In the spirit of providing information, I must share that I’m working on a couple small projects to post up here. I can’t say it will be affixed to a rigid schedule, but I’m sure I will be posting at least twice more this month. We are, however, working on getting a revamped schedule going. News on that later.


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a momentary lapse

Written on April 7, 2009 by

So there I was reading about how this mass of people was upset about iTunes raising the majority of it’s track pricing and lodging complaints about how they don’t like Amazon mp3. All of a sudden I had a singular thought, “These people are all nerds who have nothing better to do than get worked up over three dimes.”  It was in that moment that I compiled the following chart:

WANT: Cobra Commander G.I. Joe NEED: to keep other men from finding out about doll collecting habit.

It seems worth mentioning that I am now protesting Shaw. But I’m doing a different kind of protest than I have in the past.

I was refusing to post to put the responsibility of getting content out there on Shaw. Now I will willingly post so that the responsibility of assuring good content falls to Shaw. An evil plan to be sure, but something must be done.



Children of the Apocalypse

Written on March 3, 2009 by
blog, news, videogames

A good friend of mine passed along an interesting news clip from The Onion on a topic I don’t think is discussed enough. Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Frankly, I’m upset that more news stations aren’t covering hard news like this! Sure our children may be able to use Health Packs to heal anything the apocalypse may bring along, but shouldn’t they also be learning how to filter their radiation drenched water and build a shelter to protect them from the acid rain? No one knows exactly what the post-apocalyptic future may bring, but our only chance for survival lies in these violent video game simulations.

How are you preparing for the certain end of the world in a few short years? I for one am going to keep working out strategies against the undead hordes by playing Left 4 Dead.

On a side note, my apologies for the late update. My roommate gave me a call this afternoon boasting of front row seats to a Houston Rockets game. The court seems a lot smaller from up there, but Yao Ming seem so much bigger in real life.

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Texas Rodeo

Written on February 28, 2009 by
blog, informative

Everything is done a little differently here in Texas. This week, schools get out early and roads are shut down because of an old fashioned Texas Rodeo.

Did I say roads shut down? Oh yes. It’s a Texas tradition to have a “trail” ride on horseback down some of the busiest roads in Houston, and I got to witness it. Traffic stretches on while horses do their business on the pavement. How picturesque!

Yesterday featured another big event of rodeo week called “Go Texan Day.” Business men swap their suits for jeans and boots, silk ties for bolo ties, and my roommate claims he saw a twenty gallon hat. I think I got away without wearing the full garb since I’m a newbie. Next year, I’d better have some western gear or I might be taken out for an old fashioned hanging!

All of these events are just the beginning. All next week there will be rodoes, country music, and more square dancing than your boots can handle.

Random happenings like this are one of the many reasons that I love living in the fastinatingly weird Texas. I know Texas isn’t alone in these unusual events; what are some of your hometown traditions?


My podcasts

Written on February 19, 2009 by

Here is a view into how I tick: my podcast list.


For some reason I feel compelled to explain, so I will.

For those of you who ask where we can find stuff on the internet, with the Best of YouTube podcast, a good bit of it comes to me.

Dilbert Animated Cartoons I suscribed to only recently. They’re pretty much just daily Dilbert comics that have been animated. It’s not as good as the series, but still worth a chuckle.

Downloadable Content is a podcast in which two guys sit around and talk about video game news and write comics. It appeals to me because it combines two things I really love: playing video games and just sitting around chatting it up.

That next one is a little embarrassing… I’m just gonna move along and let Shaw formulate some jokes later.

The Lost Podcast with Jay and Jack is a fantastic little find for any LOST fan. I recommend it highly. They post once on Thursdays and Mondays with Lost recaps, crackpot theories and a few other Lost oriented secments.

Old Jews Telling Jokes is a bit weird, but for some reason it stays in that list. It’s just elderly men and women telling jokes. Most podcasts are less than a minute long, and I think they only update once a week, but I don’t think I could unsubscribe from that one if I tried.

Olive Online is my church’s podcast of the Sunday morning and evening services. I really being able to go back and listen to stuff that either I’ve missed, or I can’t remember some point the speaker made. Also my mind tends to get stuck on one point while I’m actually there so I like being able to listen to the whole thing again.

Stuff You Should Know is a part of the “How Stuff Works” network and it’s got a lot of interesting tidbits. The newest episode is about how going over Niagra works. I’m kind of excited. I’d be more excited if it also had a tag line, “tips and tricks from the pros.”

Too Lost Guys is another LOST podcast. This one is a bit more bite-sized and only updates once a week, but it’s got a lot of charm to make up for it.

So those are what I’ve got, anyone else out there want to share podcasts they can’t live without? Comment it up!


Shaw replied on February 21, 2009 at 4:47pm

Webcomics Weekly didn’t make your list?


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Written on February 14, 2009 by
blog, informative

I’ve found some parodies that I’d like to share.

Last week I shared this video, today I found an interesting revision.

And of course Chocolate Rain has inspired several different versions. And I’m not quite sure how to classify this inspired video.

Thinking of music videos, I’d like to point out literal videos. These are overdubbed music videos where they have the artist sing what is actually going on in the video. The best ones are Tears for FearsHead Over Heels  and A-Ha’sTake On Me.

Usually these things are distributed by venues such as Saturday Night Live, or whatever flavor of the month Comedy Central is funding, but thanks to the internet anyone can submit quality content for the entire world to enjoy.

…of course that also means for every one good video I have to wade through 100,000 others.

I’ll take what I can get.


Shaw replied on February 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Why have I never seen that video of Tay Zonday doing “Never Gonna Give You Up”? That is… simply amazing. The best Youtube content combined in one fantastic video. I can’t believe I haven’t seen that before.

Speaking of Chocolate Rain and Never Gonna Give You Up, I did happen to find some pretty unique covers of both using, out of all the music creation software out there, Mario Paint: Chocolate Rain – Mario Paint, PaintRoll’d


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